Rant.

I hate it when people are like 'are you in college or anything?' And I'm like 'no' then they're like 'what do you do in the day?' So I say 'nothing' then they're like 'you're so lucky! I want your life' ... You know what, have my life! See how hard it is for me to get up in the morning and realise I have nothing to live for. Try and get through the day without killing yourself. Have loads of fights with your head during the day decided what you wear because you look too fat in everything. Deciding what to eat because today you think even water has thousands of calories. Get put down by your family and being made to feel 10 times more worthless than you already thought you were. Try living with having a panic attack most times you leave the house, even for a half an hour walk. The list is endless. Do you still want my life now? Because you know what? I'd do anything to have your life and be able to go to school, go out with friends, have friends, and just live a 'normal' teenage life.

Panic attacks and not eating.

Might aswell blog at 3am because I'm having panic attacks and can't sleep..
But yea,
Things have been awful. Depressions been bad, but the main problem at the moment is food. I'm back to hardly eating, as I'm scared of gaining weight :(. I want to be thin:(. I hate how much weight I've put on so I want to lose it, and more. Of course, my mums picked up on it and is lecturing me to eat, which is causing me to feel worse. I'm just fed up. I just want all these thoughts to go away. I'm scared that even water is going to make me put like half a stone on :'( I hate my head.