New Year.

First I want to say happy new year to you all. I hope you all had a lovely Christmas, too. 

Sorry for not blogging for sooooo long. I think March was the last time I posted on here!
I've been thinking about starting to blog again for a few months now, but just haven't really found the motivation to do it.
So much has changed over the last few months.

This time last year I was in a really bad place. I was in bed everyday, not eating and when I did eat, I just binged, I didn't want to mix with people, I was rarely leaving the house.  I was just generally very down and very depressed. I was using bad coping mechanisms. Things just weren't very good at all.

Over these last few months, things have been looking up.
I get up everyday.
I've been going to take the dog for a walk every single day without fail (even in the rain, wind, hail etc which isn't fun haha).
I've been eating at least 2 meals a day, 9/10 days I eat 3 meals.
I haven't self harmed for 6 months which is a HUGE achievement considering I was using it as a coping mechanism a few times a week a year or so ago.
My anxiety these days has been much more manageable. Obviously I'm still having panic attacks, but they're not happening as often and when they do happen I can cope with them a lot better.
I'm in more of a routine now, and it is really helping.

As I turned 18 last June, CAMHS discharged me in October and I've been referred to the adult services.
I felt a bit low when CAMHS discharged me because I knew everything about CAMHS and how the service worked, and I got told that I probably wouldn't hear from the adult services until the new year, so the thought of having no support for a few months scared me. Although CAMHS didn't really do much for me for the last few months I was there, it was just nice to know that I did have someone to turn to if things did get too much for me. Anyway, I've survived (obviously!) and I've got an appointment to see someone in the adult services for the first time at the end of January. I'm quite scared about going there as I don't quite know what to expect but we'll just have to wait and see!

I think that's all there is to update on without going into too much information and dragging this post on for ages. Next time I'll have to update as and when things happen!
Obviously things still aren't perfect and how I'd like them to be, but I'm gradually getting there. I'm in a much better place now than I was 2 years ago. When I look back at my old blog posts it's like I'm reading a completely different persons blog. It's so strange.

This year I want to keep going with my recovery. I hope by the end of this year I'll be able to say things are even better than they are now.
I'm even considering looking into starting a college course next September. I don't know if that will happen or not. I'm only thinking about a few hours a week, but it would be a start. I just need to find out what there is out there for me to do. (I never thought I'd be saying that).

Who knows what this next year will bring!

Thank you to those people in my life who have never given up on me and have been there for me through thick and thin.


Without my friends/family supporting me I don't know what I would have done.. Also everyone I've met through twitter who has supported me over these last few years. You're all amazing and the one thing I wouldn't change about these illnesses are the friends I've met who have been going through similar things. I hope you all never give up because there is light at the end of the tunnel.