mixed emotions.

well over all today ive had a goodish day...ive been in a good mood as ive had my step brothers/sisters over to distract me and it was a good laugh..but at the same time im really upset, its my granddads birthday today and he died a few months back. i wasnt that close to him, but i miss him like mad and as i know ill never see him again.. now im sat down im thinking and its not good. im watching Peter Andre to try cheer me up, but its not working. i feel like it should be me lying in that grave not him. he didnt deserve to die.anyway, i have my amazing facebook family and twitter family to talk to so i should cheer up soon. trying to hold back these tears..:/xx