Mums starting a new job tomorrow. I'm really anxious about her going as she won't be able to have her phone on her.
My mum is like my safety net, I guess. I only feel safe when I know I can contact her. Like in her other jobs, she's always had her phone on her and in emergency she can come home. With this job I can't speak to her until she's finished..which could be like 10 hours.
Really stressing about it.
What if something goes wrong at home?
Emetophobia thoughts are taking over too. What if I'm sick and she can't come and help me?
What if I have a huge panic attack and I need her to calm me down?
All these thoughts are racing around my head.
I shouldn't be relying on my mum like this, but somewhere inside me is making me. Im sure most 17 year olds want their mum to go to work to get rid of them. Why can I be like that? Argh.
I just want to be normal :(.
On a more positive note, I've not cut for a few days.
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