Saturday, 4 August 2012

Suicidal.

I'm so suicidal at the moment it's unreal. I have never felt so bad. I overdosed last week (not badly), and since then, all that's been in my head is overdosing again. I have it in my head that today's the day I end things. I'm scaring myself. I don't feel 'safe' even just lying in bed. I feel like all my thoughts are going to turn into actions and I have no control over them. I feel so alone.
And to top it off, I'm home alone all day so my thoughts can run wild. I'm scared of myself. I didn't know I could feel so awful. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
I feel lost. I don't know what to do anymore. My head is well and truly fucked. I want to stop thinking about suicide and get it out of my head that I'm not doing anything today. Argh :'( I don't even know anymore.
I need a hug and a shoulder to cry on.

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