Pushing my anxiety to the limit

I thought I'd write an update on how things are going with college and one major thing that I am challenging my anxiety with..

College is going really well. I'm finding it much easier as time is going on. I still get slightly anxious before I leave to go, but once I've stepped out of the house I find my anxiety levels go down. I'm keeping up with the work ok which is good. The girl I became quite close to has dropped out so I thought I'd find it more difficult because I hadn't really spoken to anyone else there, but I'm coping fine. Everyone there is so nice and friendly. So overall everything there is going really well.. I just need to start thinking what to do in September when this course finishes... eeek, that's a scary thought.

Another huge thing which has happened recently is I've booked train tickets to go on a train (obviously). To most people this seems like a 'normal' thing to do, but this is a huge deal to me. I've struggled with going on public transport for as long as I can remember. Even just going on a bus for 15 minutes to get to school was too much for me to handle. I have not been on any type of public transport for about 6 years, and I haven't been on a train for over 10 years, never mind getting on the train on my own! Getting on public transport has been something I've been wanting to do for years, but I just haven't been able to. Just the thought of getting on a bus or train would trigger my anxiety and I would end up having a panic attack. I'm not 100% sure why I find it so scary. I think part of it is being stuck on there with people I don't know and knowing once I'm on there, I'm stuck for the duration of the journey. Anyway, my friend asked me if I wanted to meet up with her and go shopping. She lives an hour train ride away from me. If I go back a year, I would have immediately said no, but this time I hesitated before I replied and thought to myself that this was a perfect opportunity for me to push my anxiety and go on a train. It's not a long journey so it's perfect to see how I get on, and it means I will be able to spend the day with my friend. I decided, yes, this is the time. I will give it a go.
I booked my tickets, picked them up from the train station and now it feels so real and it's actually going to happen. I am going to push my anxiety to the limit and get on a train.
I'm so anxious about it, because not only am I going on the train, I will also be going to a new city that I don't know, right away from my comfort zone, but if I don't do it, I know I'll just regret it, like all the other opportunities I've missed because of my anxiety. I will definitely update you all on how I get on. Hopefully the day will go smoothly and I will be able to keep my anxiety under control...

Wish me luck!

Natalie