The other day I was just scrolling through my Facebook timeline where I saw a friend had liked a picture with a girl holding up a sign saying "Suicide does not end the chances of life getting worse, suicide eliminates the possibility of it ever getting better."
This post really hit me. It is so true, if you go through with suicide it does eliminate the possibility of life ever getting better. It made me sit and think about all the little things that have happened in my life over the last few years.
If I rewind to about 2 or 3 years ago, I was in the darkest place I have ever been. Feeling depressed, suicidal, self harming everyday and having anxiety which was so bad I struggled to just step into the front garden because I felt so anxious. I just didn't see any point in me being alive and I did attempt to take my own life. I saw no hope in ever getting better and I thought I would always be like that. The girl who couldn't go past her front gates without having panic attacks.
Now, a few years on, I am actually quite glad I didn't succeed with my suicide attempts. I am in a much better place. If I had succeeded with suicide I wouldn't be able to do the things I do now. I wouldn't say I'm completely better, but my anxiety and depression are much more under control.
I've started reflecting on the things I have achieved over the last few months, that if I wasn't here I wouldn't have achieved.
This post really hit me. It is so true, if you go through with suicide it does eliminate the possibility of life ever getting better. It made me sit and think about all the little things that have happened in my life over the last few years.
If I rewind to about 2 or 3 years ago, I was in the darkest place I have ever been. Feeling depressed, suicidal, self harming everyday and having anxiety which was so bad I struggled to just step into the front garden because I felt so anxious. I just didn't see any point in me being alive and I did attempt to take my own life. I saw no hope in ever getting better and I thought I would always be like that. The girl who couldn't go past her front gates without having panic attacks.
Now, a few years on, I am actually quite glad I didn't succeed with my suicide attempts. I am in a much better place. If I had succeeded with suicide I wouldn't be able to do the things I do now. I wouldn't say I'm completely better, but my anxiety and depression are much more under control.
I've started reflecting on the things I have achieved over the last few months, that if I wasn't here I wouldn't have achieved.
- I've started college after not being in education for the last 4 years due to my anxiety. This means I have made new friends who I wouldn't have known if I wasn't here.
- I have also started driving lessons which I had been putting off for 2 years.
- Even the little things like spending times with my friends, going to a concert or going out for food. I wouldn't be able to see the sunrise every morning.
- I wouldn't be able to go for a walk on a chilly autumn day and walk on all the fallen leaves with my dog running around next to me.
It's all the little things. I think everyone should take time to reflect every now and then and just see how much they have achieved. Sometimes you can be so wrapped up in life you just don't notice the little things you have achieved. Sometimes even just getting out of bed can be an achievement.
Stay strong and never give up :)
Natalie x
Natalie x
Love the post! Definitely something to think about when things seem like they're getting bad again...
ReplyDeleteStay strong :)
DeleteYou my dear are amazing!
ReplyDeleteAhhhhh thank you so much! Hope you're doing ok :)
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